He love's me He love's me not!

I remember thinking when I was a younger babe, I will have an amazing life, beautiful family and a wonderful home! I saw all the tv shows, picture books and magazine depict these images and therefore I was sold on it. I also grew up in a picturesque home myself,  mom and pop and dad and step mom! Im guessing that having morals has not been the key to having a successful partnership in anything! Business, nope! Friendship, nope! Spiritual, nope!  Relationships, hell no! So, lets rethink this I thought a long the way, but I don't want to be dogmatic or corrupt, mean or cruel, ahhhh or the worse to me a USER in order for me to have working relationships. So let me not get ahead of myself because this post is about something a little different than the picture I'm painting, don't want to confuse you yet I did need to state the above facts for you to understand where I'm going with this! As I sip on my cocktail

yes one was needed as I get real personal with this one. By the way Shellback clear rum is amazing,  yes it is. Back to the post. Ahhh yes He love's me, He love's me not! I had the worst marriage ever. I am ok to say it now and it's the truth. Our friendship was great, marriage a parade of booooooo's! We had absolutely no business getting married! But we let all the things that people say are great reasons to get married, marry us!  Religion, waited to have sex after we were married, credit and money was cool, purchased a home together, all the shit you think is supposed to hold you down. Well I'm here to tell you straight with no chaser, literally, not!  None of that shit matters and I mean none of it, if the people involved don't love God, themselves and EACH OTHER!  Sounds simple right, I know everything always does. 

     LOVE, is unconditional and should be non emotional!  Love, has nothing to do with what I will and will not do for you. It's not a tool, commerce, exchange for goods or items!

It is however energy, food/nutrients, necessary, a life line, motivation, encouragement and support!

When you know that there is love the environment is a thriving, anything is possible because there is a wonder that exist that can carry you further than one can imagine. LOVE is GOD! We all know when that is present in your spirit, soul and heart all things are possible!

     So in my release of this loveless relationship (give thanks) I had my aha moment ( for the record, I dislike that saying, but any who) what if you took some time Cleo to re-discover what was missing and what it is you will need to have better relationships altogether!  Yes, let's do that! For two years I was an understudy of Love (that will be another blog)! In short what I learned, love only needed me!  I was busy looking for reciprocation, kinda needy(hey the truth hurts)because that was what I was taught love should be like an exchange, you love me, I love you!  Our whole entire worlds would crash if and when we tell someone I love you and they don't say it back. New day, uh hello. I will never wait again for the "right time to tell someone you love them and then die if they don't say it back"! Yeah, so never doing that again!

     I began to think about a mother and a child in the womb  the child knows nothing of this love but the mother automatically loves her unborn child not looking for anything in exchange, it's actually impossible because that child hasn't been born to display any feeling yet. Thats super unconditional love! Haaaa! So I said to myself, self my next intimate relationship I will love him like an unborn baby, no expectations! Guess what, it was amazing! It was the best relationship I ever had.  Because I decided it wasn't that important to have conditional Love. It was most important that I was the Love! He saw that and caught on. No traditional mess. Just unconditional love. No picking daises running around singing he love's me, he love's me not.  I love'd me and then love'd him! ahhhhh, life is good!

don't forget the three L's love, life and laughter!

What do you hide behind?

     My granny used to say, "honey there is not enough makeup in the whole wide world to hide the pain in your eye's"! I would hear her say that to my aunts as they tried to mask the heartbreak of a relationship gone bad.  Today it seems like everyone is hiding behind something.  A computer screen, designer shades, tinted windows of a fancy car or a big house in a gated community! You ever think (well let's say your the one in the conversation or relationship telling the absolute truth) does anyone even care about having authentic conversations or relationships that may show the transperency and vulnerability in one's core shell to be seen. Should we even be having thought provoking communication with individuals who don't care enough to let us be our authentic selves even if that means we are having an off day. So if everyone that we surround our selves with has to make it a point to be "ON" all the time or even fake just to be appealing how healthy is that?  Why do we hide at all? Aren't we loved enough to just be ourselves, what ever that is! Well what ever environment you foster is what you will most likely be or become. If it's a bunch of material ladened energy pushed, what happens when you can no longer produce that, are you still acceptable, RELEVANT?  I guess that's why we have so many toxic sayings like, fell off, wack, no longer hot, how old are they! Yes, this may be a lot to think about since we don't like to think anymore especially if it means we will have to do some work to do better! Here is a thought though, I am going to make a conscious effort to do and be me, on and off! Believing that the cats I run with will be like, I'm cool with that, Cleo is just being her authentic self!
peace love laughter and good living!